The Questions I'm Asked

People ask me lots of questions about this kid, James Love:

Q: Do you feel different?
A: Yes, I have a son who depends upon his mother and me for everything. This is a change in my life.

Q: Do you feel greater responsibility--or pressure?
A: Yes. But his mother probably feels more--she has more to do.

Q: What's the best part about being a dad?
A: His eyes--that and so deeply trusting and loving my wife to raise this child together.

Q: Are you sleeping?
A: Yes. A bit less, with more interruptions.

Q: What is it like to be a dad?
A: It's pretty neat so far. But not quite as intense as I'd imagined. He's eating OK and he sleeps OK. He seems healthy. All of this is such an incredible gift, this having a healthy kid, that it pales everything else I might kvetch about. And James doesn't really do much yet. Aside from the normal bodily functions, he tries to focus his eyes on things--and people, which is really cool. He grabs things with his little hands--my finger, my shirt collar. He flails his arms a lot like he's clearing cobwebs from his face. He's got a good, loud cry, which he displays mostly when he's hungry. The most fun and novel part of being a dad is to take James out in the sling. He loves the thing. He nestles down in an goes to sleep and I jet around the city--walking through Washington Square Park, to the Green Market on Saturday, on the subway to his peds appointment. I LOVE the sling--and so, apparently, does James.

Q: How's the dog?
A: The dog loves the baby. She whimpers when he cries, hovering around to see if there's any part of him that she can lick and make it feel better. We've done some basic "dog whisperer"-type training with her to make her find her place with the new baby. But overall, the dog seems to be fine with the new addition.

Q: Has the baby helped you to see God in a new way?
A: Still working on that. I suppose the obvious thing is that it opens up the metaphor of "Father" to me a bit more. I typically shy away from that word because I don't like the overly-gendered nature of the word and the overly-gendered theology that has grown out of it. But I'm beginning to have better access to an idea like, say, "a father's love." And the other idea that's been so real to me is that every single one of us is a beloved child. Beth and I walk by people sleeping in the park and know that that person, too, was once held like we hold James now. I'm quite alive to the idea that faithful people are called to show one another this same love throughout our lives--you know, to be the hands and arms of God on earth.

Q: Will this blog become a baby blog, showering the reader with sappy drivel about your cute kid?
A: No. But he is cute, ain't he?