Margaret Grace Waltemath Lewicki

I have not been blogging much. I have a daughter. The two facts are related.

I've had a daughter for a week now. Margaret Grace was born to my wife and I on New Year's Eve day, December 31st, at 4:53 AM. She was born at 28 weeks and 6 days--11 weeks premature. She's also had quite a tough time of it. Beth's water broke just short of 18 weeks, so Grace was living in the womb for 11 weeks without amniotic fluid.

She's having a go of this life. She's in the NICU at St. Vincent's hospital. She's responding well to her care, but this early stage of her life will be full of steep hills for a little girl to climb.

We are sharing her full story with family and friends at a CaringBridge website.

I won't discuss details of her life much here--no more than I usually talk about my family.

But suffice to say that she's already had an outsized impact on my life and worldview. Grace has brought me closer to the deep fear of loss than I've ever been. I've been living on the edge of losing her for months now, and it is a hard place to live. I've chosen not to blog about it, mostly because I find my blogging voice very poorly suited to deep introspection. Most of my blog posts reflect "mastery." I'm working over a topic or theme that I've thought through. Of course, with Grace, no such mastery has been possible.

My prayer life has deepened. My love for each member of my family is greater. My trust in God is more earnest, less self-aware and critical. 'Twas grace has taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved...