A week ago, over a corned beef "sandwich" smushed between two great, greasy potato pancakes (don't ask--it was the house specialty), a person who is new to my church was telling me how good it felt to find a church that is "spiritually safe." An interesting commentary on our contemporary church culture, isn't it, that finding a church that is safe would feel like a rare and precious thing?So what is a safe church? My definition is as follows:
First, these days it's a church where you can be gay--or lesbian, or trans, and it's really and truly OK. It's a church where you can not have it all worked out... not have any of it worked out--either your beliefs or your life--and it's OK. It's a church where we're all works-in-process. It's a church that welcomes any and every question because questions are what God uses to transform us "by the renewing of our minds." A safe church honors faith AND faithful doubt. A safe church delights in your struggling... and delights with you when you commit your imperfect self to following Jesus.
A safe church receives you warmly--it values the face-to-face encounter and the soul-to-soul encounter. A safe church doesn't make you feel like a statistic, but will also allow you to sit quietly in the back pew and blend into the wallpaper when you need to. A safe church sees the "external you"--your race, your ethnicity, the way you dress, and the way you groom yourself (or not)--and it welcomes THAT you, just as you appear. A safe church then cares enough to meet the you beneath the exterior.
A safe church is one where you can speak without fearing judgment. A safe church is a place of laughter and tears. A safe church is a sanctuary.
A safe church takes seriously the commandment to welcome the stranger. A safe church trusts God with the burden of judgment and the Spirit with the mystery of personal transformation.
But one word of warning about churches that are "safe" like this: they're not completely safe. They're safe like Jesus was "safe." The one thing that was never safe with Jesus (and should never be safe at a church) is the "old you." The person you were when you walked in the door and were welcomed like family is not the person who walks out later. The person who meets grace in another human being can never be the same afterward.
Just like Aslan...Not "safe", but good!
ReplyDeleteI'm thankful to be serving in a safe church, and on sabbatical got to experience many that weren't.
Just this past Sunday we had a young adult topical study at church about the many faces of faith. There was someone new who joined us who had never been to or heard about our church until he walked through the front doors that morning. During the get together he was somewhat disruptive, although not intentionally. He was from an African nation and came from a pentecostal/evangelical background. When he heard mention of our church accepting gays and lesbians, he went off on a discourse about how he didn't understand how a church would do such a thing. As a young adult leader and a gay man I was irritated, but more than anything I was hurt. I've heard those sentiments my entire life. It was the first time I didn't feel "safe" in my church.
ReplyDeleteFortunately, everyone was disturbed by his comments and his behaviour, and while i'm sure he's an intelligent man who only wants to live a life that honors Christ, it was evident that our church wasn't the church for him. It still bothered me for a few days afterwards though...took me a bit to get over. In the end, I realized that he's my brother in Christ whether he likes it or not, and I need to love him. Sure, his words hurt me, but that's no reason not to love him.
Anyway, this Saturday i'm putting on my "Marble Collegiate" hat and partying with the Marble YA's at Stone Creek. Good times!
I have said it before, and I will say it again. Thank God for Marble. I have NEVER felt as loved, and valued at a church as I do at Marble. I know I am like a walking commercial for the church but it is true. It may sound strange to NYers, but to be in church and be able to be gay and not be discounted-not be told you have a problem that needs to be fixed, is an amazing thing. I tear up when I realize the blessing that fell upon me when I walked through the doors of what is now my new church home.
ReplyDeleteHey David, I am a reader of yours through Bryan (who introduced me to your blog). I just wanted to say that this post made me smile and say to myself 'yes, such is what a church should look like'. It is good to hear these things coming from someone in the ministry. I love the comment edb made about Aslan, too. :)
ReplyDeleteDear David,
ReplyDeleteThough a random stream of websites I came across your blog. It's been a long time since high school and it's always fascinating to find out where people are now. I'm not a church-goer, but I found this post very thoughtful, informed, and reassuring. I am happy that you have found what is clearly a wonderful role in life and that your faith has such an intelligent and, if I remember correctly, humorous leader in you. I wish you all the best,
Jen